This journey that we find ourselves on is one of the hardest I have ever experienced. Life as a parent to a child with a brain injury puts your emotions on a rollercoaster from hell. I’m the first one to tell anyone that they are entitled to have their moments. Yet I find that I struggle with allowing myself to have them. It is completely ok for others to cry and yet I see it as a sign of weakness in myself. After all we are all entitled to feel however we do at any given moment.
Last night as I got ready to go to sleep, I checked Facebook. Facebook is full of pictures of kids Isabella’s age and yet last night I had a moment. It was like a train wreck and I couldn’t look away. There on Facebook were these pictures of this beautiful little girl experiencing life and having fun. Out of nowhere the tears starting streaming down my face. It was yet another reminder of all the things Isabella has missed and the things she will never experience. My heart hurt because my beautiful daughter was robbed of the chance to have the life she was supposed to. I am grateful beyond words that I still have Isabella and I know it could be so much worse. Yet it’s like a punch to the gut reminding me what could have been. It is just not fair. Yep, I even went there. I am not one to play the “its not fair card”, however, last night that is exactly how I felt. After I cried my eyes out, I reached out to those that I knew would understand because as the rest of the world moves on, we are still here at an almost stand still. I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore knowing full well that tomorrow is a brand new day and I would soldier on.
Today I am back on track and moving forward. One day at a time.
“Don’t forget you’re human, it’s okay to have a meltdown, just don’t unpack and live there. Cry it out and then refocus on where you are headed.” Annoymous
Guest Blogger, Kristin Olliney-Apruzzese, is the mother of 8-year-old Isabella, who suffered sudden acute encephalitis when she was just 4. Kristin’s bi-monthly blog, Mommy of a Miracle, talks about the trials and joys of raising a brain injury survivor.
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